Archive for submission

Safeword

Posted in Nonfiction with tags , , on July 15, 2009 by scarlettbottom

I was listening to my favorite NPR podcast today. The guest being interviewed mentioned that he thinks that reading a novel is a submissive activity. He said that when you read a novel, you surrender to it. You have no control of the plot. Your only option is to say your safeword and stop reading.

A scene is like that for a well-behaved sub. She has no control of the plot, she can only say yes or no. But if she says no, it’s the ultimate no. Nothing else will follow. Thus the hesitancy to use a safeword. I’ve never felt that I needed to use a safeword, but I think I would be fairly reluctant to use it. I think there’s a tendency to think “Just a little bit longer, I can do this” and using a safeword seems like a bit of a cop-out.

However, the lack of control is just what makes a scene interesting. There’s a method of green-yellow-red that gives the sub more control, but the the whole point of scene-ing is that the sub doesn’t have any control over what will happen next and she’s at the mercy of the Dom, whose job it is to decide how far he wants to go and what he wants his sub to feel.

That’s part of the psychological play of D/s- the Dom controls the sub’s feelings as well as her body. I feel that receiving a spanking or another punishment is a very comforting thing. It’s an assurance that Daddy has the situation well in hand. It feels like nothing bad could ever happen at that moment, because Daddy knows what’s best and would never do anything to *really* hurt me. He’s also protecting me from anyone else who might want to hurt me. If I use my safeword, that protection and safe feeling will be over and then I’m on my own.

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