I tend to mark my lovers. I can’t help it. I try to be considerate and use the pads of my fingers, but in the middle of sex, I don’t have the attention span to moderate natural impulses like scratching and biting.

I do keep track of the scars I leave. Rather, my lovers insist on telling me about them. So far I’ve left permanent or semi-permanent marks on all of my serious lovers (and some not so serious). To my great embarrassment, my first girlfriend in high school showed all of my friends the bloody cat scratches the next day. A more recent girlfriend still insists on showing the four very clear fingernail marks from one very stormy night several years ago to anyone who will look. And *everyone* will look, at the marks, and then at me.

But I think I want to be marked, the way I do others. I’m not huge on personal property in general, and I’m learning to be even more open about ownership in relationships, but there’s something animalistic about leaving a mark on your lover, shared or otherwise. And the mark is a souvenir- I’ll never forget those marks on her shoulder, and neither will she.

The collar I wear is my mark. it has its upsides; it doesn’t fade over time, it doesn’t heal, it doesn’t hurt (whether that’s positive or negative depends on your view of pain), and it’s very obvious. But it has its downsides, too. It’s removable, and it can be taken away from me at any time.

Best to stay on his good side.


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