Many of the bdsm blogs that I read are written by people who are in “lifestyle” bdsm relationships. They live their (dominant or submissive) role 24/7, and very likely they live with their partner. I think a relationship like that sounds idyllic. I would love to be a stay-at-home wife/sub.

The primary thing that appeals to me about that situation is the extremely structured gender roles. Now, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a biologically male person filling the masculine role and vice versa, but regardless of the sex of the individuals involved, the hard and fast gender rules are still in place.

Styrn suggested we have a game night. Like inviting a bunch of people over to play cards and serving little snacks. Maybe have a movie on in the background. I immediately thought, “That sounds like something out of Mad Men” and a serious throwback to the 1950s/early 60s. The little wife in the kitchen making tiny, perfect little morsels and pouring drinks, serving them to her husband’s guests. Maybe the card players are smoking cigarettes. They probably ignore the wife after a thank you and a nod. Sitting around the table, I imagine that the testosterone is palpable, and as pervasive as the cigarette smoke.

This scene reminds me of a story I read a very long time ago. I think the “little girl” comparison is pretty inevitable when it comes to female submissives. In this story, Baby comes down the stairs to find her daddy; he’s playing poker with his buddies. Daddy’s friends fuck Baby on the poker table, sweeping chips out of the way, cards scattered everywhere. I find the chaos of the scene utterly romantic.

So does the wife sit on her husband’s knee while he plays? Does he shoo her out of the room? Does she eavesdrop? Maybe she waits on her knees for her next command, or maybe her elbows are bound behind her back and all she can do is hold the serving tray…


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